Why You Need To Master Public Listening To Master Public Speaking
Public speaking is always a conversation.
It’s as much about listening as it is about speaking.
How can we expect to truly influence our audiences if we’re not receptive to what they have to say about what we share?
The challenge is that whilst our audiences are always speaking to us, most of the time their contribution isn’t vocalised.
(Read or watch - your choice!)
We've been running a lot of workshops recently on public speaking.
One of the things I love about our work is just how different the conversations that arise from it are. Every audience is different. Every audience has their own unique perspective.
In my last workshop, as we opened up the session on what constitutes good and bad public speaking, I was delighted and somewhat surprised, when the very first thing that came up was “great listening.”
I mean, it was music to my ears given how much weight we give to the importance of building an authentic relationship with audiences. The fact that it surprised me so much just emphasised a point:
Not enough focus is given to the importance of listening when it comes to public speaking.
How do we master the skill of public listening?
There’s just not enough support in this area.
There's not enough support for speakers to feel at ease and present with their audiences - to truly take them in and truly respond to their needs.
And this makes sense.
It makes total sense because it's the speaking part that we have complete control over in our preparation. We can:
Curate the material that we feel is right for our audience
Structure the arc of that presentation
Put together a script or a loose script, which we can then learn
Rehearse it.
(All of this is brilliant practice and if you need some help in any of these areas, please get in touch.)
Grasping for more certainty
As we get to stage 4 (above), as the event approaches, if the stakes are high enough and we’re feeling a little nervous, there’s a temptation to add a stage 5 to combat the uncertainty and vulnerability we might be feeling:
5. Fix your “performance.”
We think, “you know what, this is going really well. I liked the way I did it there. Let me just do that over and over and over again so I can just, sort of, replicate that before the audience.”
There's security in this.
And if your aim is to get through the presentation without any major hiccups, for it to be fairly polished and for you even to get some fairly positive feedback, then that might do for you.
But, the problem is that we’re missing out on something absolutely crucial to any public speaking engagement.
The audience. Unlike with your rehearsals at home, you’re not presenting in a vacuum.
They are your only reason to speak.
What about how they receive your presentation?
How are we able to really serve their needs if we're effectively just pressing play on a performance that we prepared in solitude, when we thought, “yeah, that seems right, I feel comfortable with that.”
Great means embracing uncertainty
Great public speaking requires a good dose of bravery.
A comfort with embracing uncertainty.
A comfort with not knowing
A comfort with a presentation, maybe going down a slightly different path.
A comfort with it being different every single time.
So what can we do about that?
How do we better equip people to get comfortable with this discomfort?
What can you do?
Really know your stuff:
Know your material so well that you almost have permission to forget it. I don't mean literally, but you don’t have to be worried about recall when you’re with your audience, which takes you out of the moment. Get it out of the head and into the body. This security in the content allows you to simply be present and malleable in response to your audience’s needs
Plan space for engagement:
Factor in time in your presentation for questions and audience engagement. It doesn't all have to be left for Q&A at the end. It feels more like a conversation. It feels like something that's two-way.
Beyond this, there isn't a huge amount that you can do until the actual day itself. You can't spend weeks on end practising your listening when the audience aren't there.
But there are some things that you can do when it comes to the day.
On day preparation for “public listening”
So much of it is about lowering your mental chatter and stress levels so that you feel comfortable when you arrive in the room. You’re ready to simply have a conversation with your audience.
Final rehearsal:
Find some time earlier in the day, when you feel quite relaxed, to do that final rehearsal. Run through your content. Maybe it doesn't have to be from start to finish. There could be a shorthand to it. This is all about building that reassurance that you know your stuff, you can trust it, and you can let it go.
Leave it alone:
Don't spend the build up neurotically running through those first lines or the whole presentation. Clear your head, relax, trust that it's there.
Break the ice
When you arrive at the venue, if you get the chance to actually speak to some people that are going to be in your audience, absolutely do it. It opens up the channels of communication. It gives you an opportunity to start actually having a conversation with them so that when you get up to present, it doesn't feel like, “Oh, here we go. Now it's my performance.” You're just continuing something that you did a bit more intimately before.
Breathe
If you do feel that those nerves are rising as you approach “your turn” do some simple mindful breathing: In through the nose and out through the mouth. Being as present as possible. If it helps, mentally, just saying as you do it, “I'm breathing in now; I'm breathing out now.” All of this is about getting out of your head and into your body.
Take them in
When you’re up there, don't be afraid to actually look at your audience. I don't mean stare. But they're not a faceless mass. You’re speaking to a collection of individuals. And there's some amazing stuff that happens when you actually give non threatening eye contact to people. When you're just letting people in. It lowers your own level of stress, it lowers the stress of the audience, and you start to connect. It creates a much more conducive atmosphere for an authentic conversation.
Remember, even if all the words are coming from you, your audience is always talking. This higher quality presence will allow you to pick up on what they’re telling you and truly respond to their needs.
Please, do look out for our virtual public speaking workshop on the 27th of June where we’ll be exploring this and much more. We hope to see you there.
By Chris Wickenden 18.06.2024