Public Speaking: Why Tips And Tricks Are Costing Your Influence

We help a lot of people with their public speaking. 

Something that comes up all of the time is a desire for tips and tricks - ultimately a short cut to being good.

"I want to come across as confident and engaging. This person’s great. I want to be like them. How do I do that?"

It’s all too surfacey:

With this rather surface level approach, the impact can only be surface deep. All you end up doing is looking to create an “effect” - effectively an impression of a good speaker. And it might trick some audiences.

As a business,  we’ve always quite actively worked against this approach. We believe that every opportunity to speak in public is an opportunity to do much more whilst being entirely authentic. In fact, not only do we encourage people to be themselves, we insist on it. 

You are enough. You’re more than enough. And your audience need you. No-one else.

The key distinction lies between delivering a performance and building a relationship.

And if you're looking to build a relationship, an audience wants you to be completely authentic, present and at ease. It allows them to trust you and focus on the value that you bring.

This is key. They want to know that you're there to serve them and their needs. 

If you're looking at applying tips and tricks, delivering a polished performance, you're too focused on you. You’re not left with enough headspace to really focus on your audience. 

But it’s not about you. It’s about them. That’s why anyone asks you to speak. Brene Brown puts it beautifully: “public speaking is generosity serving connection.”

Let’s use a simple example: 

I hear you present. 

I notice that you’re a little bit quiet; you look quite nervous and stay firmly planted behind the lectern; you say um and ah a lot. 

So one approach could be for us to simply focus on these external effects:

Speak louder and project your voice to the back of the room. Really work on that. 

Every time you want to say um and uh, replace it with silence. Practise this. You'll get used to it. 

Make sure that you work the stage in your presentation. Maybe move here for the first bit, there for the next bit, and end centre stage. 

Now, the problem with this approach is that whilst you may fix those things, it’s a huge amount of energy exerted on yourself. The opportunity cost of delivering that performance is being present in the room.

Being with your audience.

Really being able to pick up on the nuance of what's going on, read the room and actually have a conversation with them. That's a huge missed opportunity and actually the actions of someone that doesn’t truly grasp why they’re there in the first place. To serve the audience.

All of the best public speakers are incredibly generous. 

Afterwards, you could probably note that they had a good voice, seemed confident, engaging, and present. They whipped out a few anecdotes. It kind of felt like they were speaking in the moment - all of that stuff that people ask for tips and tricks on.

But here’s the thing. Really good public speakers don’t exert any of their energy focusing on these things. Instead, they'll be trusting the power of their message and serving their audience. They trust that their voice and body will come along for the ride.

When you’re at your most influential:

Think about those situations in your life where you feel most comfortable, most at ease, with people that you care about, talking about something you're very passionate about. 

You don't give any conscious consideration to your voice, your body, how much eye contact you're giving them etc, etc -  the so called soft skills.

And these are the environments where you have the most influence. 

So for those people that are after tips and tricks, I would say that your focus is wrong.

It's much better to do the longer term work. 

Trust me, you know how to move, you know how to stand up, sit down, look at people, not look at people, use your voice quietly, loudly, expressively etc. You've got all of that stuff in abundance. The key focus should be around creating the conditions for this stuff - you - to flow. 

How do you get into that state of flow in that public speaking environment?

Perhaps the single most important thing is to strengthen that audience focused reason to speak. So often people don't have that. 

On top of this, factor in some time to relax into the environment. How can you find a way to feel more comfortable, at ease and present before you speak? 

Both of these points will free you up to, effectively, forget you and focus on your audience. 

So I'll leave you with five key things to keep in mind before your next speaking gig.

1. You’re enough. 

2. It's not about you. It's about them. 

3. Care more

4. Know your why 

5. It's just a conversation. Go and have it. Take the pressure off.